“Need a Little Christmas Now”

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. Growing up we always had to wait till after Thanksgiving to listen to Christmas Music and we didn’t decorate the tree till my birthday, twelve days before Christmas. But for the last few years I have done Christmas earlier. While I completely disagree with the store isles being jam-packed with Christmas decorations in August, I did break out the Christmas music early and decked out my house a week before December. While partly practical, (Finals are coming, and if I don’t do it now, when?) the other part is more deep-seated than that, I NEED Christmas.

There is something so comforting and peaceful about Christmas for me. In the middle of all the craziness, there is something that never changes, something that is joyful and good. Constant reminders of hope.

This year Christmas started for me sometime in October. I was in Target, and as I walked by the Christmas section at the back of the store, a Christmas carol was playing. I don’t remember which one. But right there in Target, over the speakers someone was singing about my Jesus, come to earth as a baby. I sang along and left the store humming and smiling. I listen to Christian radio all year round. But there is something different about Christmas music. It is filled with celebration, hope, and promise.

And so as I baked pies the day before Thanksgiving, I was feeling tired and worn out by life. I needed Christmas. I opened iTunes and went to my Christmas playlist. Suddenly, all was right with the world.

I started with my new favorite obscure Christmas album from last year. (Download Here, free!) The first song is about Zechariah and Elizabeth; my favorite line is “God keeps slipping out of underneath rocks, in alleys off the beaten path, open both your eyes.” That is how I feel about Christmas time; God keeps slipping out. No matter how materialistic or politically correct we get, He is there. In a million little ways, if we would just open our eyes.

More about Christmas coming up.



For Those Who Wait – My Life in Lyrics

As has happened time after time in the last few years, I have gotten a new CD that hits home in every song. This one will be on repeat until I learn what I need to from it.  But I thought I would share some of the words that are the newest in the long line of lyrics that have reached me where I am and shaped my life.

All of the following words (not italics) are lyrics from the album “For Those Who Wait” by Fireflight, some from every song. (punctuation mine, please excuse grammar and typos)

Where I am at

I’m having trouble feeling all alone, will my heart ever find a home, I want to hope but sometimes I just don’t know…When your fighting to believe in a love that you can’t see, just know there is a purpose for those who wait…”Seek and you will find” they say, but I have been looking everyday, for a way past this wall that’s in front of my face. I’m on hands and knees searching for my faith, I know there’s so much at stake, but I don’t know how much more I can take, one more pat on the back saying I’ll be okay. Can’t you see my whole life is in disarray? I know you hear me, would you give me a sign?… You put me on a path I don’t understand. I’m standing on a ledge waving my hands. You’ve got me desperate. Do you see me? Do you hear me? Will you help me? You’ve got me Desperate, I know you’re my only hope…You’re the one I can trust who hears when I call. Some things I’ll never figure out, until I let my hope erase my doubt…Hoping with each new day, I‘m moving forward, I push the fear away, cause I’m so through with barely hanging on. Leaving what’s in the past behind, I come closer to crossing the line. And I wont’ stop till I get what I am fighting for

learning lessons on my way to

I’m what I have overcome…So I’m moving forward I ‘ve got momentum I’ll make mistakes and I might fall. But I won’t break, I’ve got someone saving me…. He Sees you, He’s near you, He knows your face, He knows your pain, He knows your name ….The pressure makes us stronger, the struggle makes us hunger, the hard lessons make the difference. And the difference makes it worth it…. Reach up. Don’t give up. We’re standing on the ashes with a clearer view and new perspective. …Tell me again that I am strong.  Tell me again that I won’t fall. I need you here to fix me where I am wrong, take me beyond what I can see. Break me. Make me believe You have made me all I need to be. (I am strong, make me believe)

where I am heading.

I want to open up my eyes, I know that all I need is time, I’m growing stronger every single day. God, I ‘m going to lean into you now. Letting go of all my fear and doubt, I can’t do this on my own, so I give you control…And I let go… Feeling solid because I finally have my feet on the ground now…you orchestrated my escape, now I’m awake. I feel alive for the first time…Oh I know you are the reason I can breathe…I want to live, I want to lose myself in you…I ‘m alive. I am finally breathing, You’re my recovery …You Give me that feeling , a power I can believe in, You Give me the feeling I could smash straight through the ceiling, fly until I Reach the sun…

It all comes down to this, the quiet in the end, I listen for your voice, recovery begins.